Kristen Shanna - And Everything Else

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Homeschool Blog: My Little Posse

February 07, 2012

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Spread Love 1.26.18

I tend to be drawn to the tough kids. The ones who never participate and have total attitude problems. I don't know what it is, except I have this overwhelming ability to see the beauty in everyone. (I'm pretty sure I was the only one in the theater who came out of Star Wars: The Last Jedi feeling sorry for Kylo Ren. But...did literally NO ONE else see the look in his eyes when Rey walked out?!!!)

I can't help but see beauty in people. Even the least of us have beauty - strengths and gifts and vulnerability. I am beautiful. I have energy and love and empathy. My heart is so full it could burst. That is beautiful.

The best of us have ulginess, too. Sometimes I am ugly. Sometimes I make the wrong choice. I do stupid things and make a total mess.

Today is a great example. I was running barely on time for a school. I got in my car and saw the gas gauge: 19 miles to empty. I looked at my GPS: 10 miles away. Arrival time: 7:53 a.m. Awesome. (Ok...I admit a bit …

The Undertaker

I have a hero.

I was unimpressed when we first met. She was a lovely, petite blond. (I am old enough and secure enough to be able to compliment these things, without bitterness and jealousy, for the most part. It has, actually, become one of my favorite pastimes - complimenting women...freely and joyfully, complimenting other women. I find the rare purity of a genuine compliment with no ulterior motive to be, unanimously, well-received.)

But I did not compliment this particular woman. I did not even like her, at first. In my defense, she had unknowingly set herself up as my enemy from the very start of our relationship. What kind of personality must she have to do this job every day of her life? Did she really choose this? She must be so stiff and unkind.

Oh the judgments we make when we are unaware. So unfair.

We would spend a significant amount of time together in the next few days, the Undertaker and I. And I would do weird things. I have learned to be uninhibited in my …

The Dreaded B Word

Well...last night was a bad, bad night. It's interesting how just the knowledge of what is to come can taint even the best of days. Sometimes it's simply the knowledge that a bad day pretty much has to be coming, because I've had so many good days in a row. They can't, after all, be the perfect, fulfilling, productive day. After so many in a row, you just start to dread, "So...is the crappy day going to be tomorrow?"

I'm the kind of person who has to have those anxious fears pretty much every night. I.n.s.o.m.n.i.a.c. It runs in my blood. It is not easy knocking out all of this for a consistent 8 hours! I spend a good part of each day just plotting how I am going to get myself to fall asleep and stay that way for a decent amount of time.

And I have to admit, since Kerri died, I've become a little too lax with the wine and Benadryl. There's irony for you...my sister dies of (ultimately) alcoholism, and I respond by drinking more. Smart. …

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Homeschool Blog: My Little Posse

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